Up down turn around

This was typed one line at a time over the last month so doesn't make much sense.   But there you go what do you expect polished journalism?

Since the last one...

Well the fat and weak is coming, I have struggling with the motivation and suddenly winter is here.  Now I feel keen.  Really really KEEN.

At the beginning of the month before man flu took hold and Stoptober fucked me over, (off the wagon on the wagon.  Climbing without smoking is HARD!)  I had booked myself a few extra days off as Katz was coming for a visit, the weather long range forecast wise was looking good, I was feeling quite good, but still my projects were eluding me.  Now the weather looks like it will shit out on me again, in fact of the 12 days off it looks likely to rain on 90% of them.  So the cycle begins again up and down round and round no psyche, no training, little climbing.  Last week I pushed and got out 4 times thanks to my understanding girl noticing I was going insane:

1- Attempt to get on project B, wet went looking for more rock, ended up stuck in a thicket of brambles and gorse, only way out was to wade down a ditch for 100 meters up to my thighs in mud and water.  Fail.
2- Jerry's roof, Laps on Bus Stop, Jerry's, and Wurzel Stand.  Fail on Pools.  Success (but not very exciting)    
3- The mill, locked out toys out of pram, Fail.
4- Project B was nearly dry 2 days ago so another look get to ..... and its raining walk in for a look anyway its wetter.  Fail.

So now the days off have passed and after a bit more on the wagon off the wagon, smoking while climbing has to be a first step, right?  Step to what, that is the question full time smoking or full time quitter?  Anyway as the weather was shit I went out with Mr and Mrs Katz to Elephantiasis.  I was shit and it was wet.  Another fail, so what to do?  I constantly find myself thinking I cant do things any more.  I relied very strongly on boring things to death just keep on going till the problem gives up, but at this point I am giving up.  I sit and drink and eat and that is not going to help with nothing.

So its back to the mill.  10 days on fucking ace, so much more productive than outside, no its not as good,  yes the rock is most important thing but in 2 hours a day I can improve, I can get sharper and stronger.  This is what I need this is what makes me tick.  After a month of binges I eventually step back on the scales.  from a low point of 74.2KG I have topped out at 81.3KG.  Fat fuck.  No wonder everything felt hard.  Thankfully since I wrote this its back to a more normal 78.6KG.

So there we go eat less train more and remember to try hard instead of pitying my poor decrepit fingers/elbows.

The past is written and unchangeable but the future is full of wonderful promises... However at the moment every time I speak to Si, him and Pete have found another line that was sat in the background waiting for one day.  Must do project a+b, before either people get bored of waiting for me in the case of a, or people find it in the case of b.